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Her Waise Choice

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Mother’s Day: A Few Thoughts

May 11, 2018

bloom assembly vancouver

As I prepare to become a mother in a few short months, I’m both excited and anxious about how my identity is going to inevitably shift. Will I be able to continue pursuing my career? And what about hobbies, self-care, my husband, my friends? Don’t get me wrong: I’m planning on diving fully into this new role and committing to giving my child everything I have. That being said, I also don’t want motherhood to consume me and become my entire life. While I hope that, one day, my grown child(ren) will say I was a good mother to them, I also want them to know that their mom had other things that she was fully passionate about, as well. If you’re reading this as a mother and taking offense, please don’t: I’m mostly saying all of this to hold myself accountable because I know the above won’t come naturally for me.

Prior to getting pregnant, I’d been longing to become a mom for some time, and to be honest found myself feeling a little behind. I’m turning 30 this year, and while I know that’s still relatively young in this day and age to have a child, I was often subconsciously comparing my life to those who were already there. A big, unhealthy part of this definitely came from the plethora of messages around me that painted motherhood as one of the ultimate accomplishments of a woman, with everything from well-meaning relatives asking when it would be “my turn” to the perfectly curated, beautiful lives of families on Instagram. I know better, at least in my head, than to let that bother me – but I think I inherently felt like I’d really have something worthy to hang on to when I became a mom.

I’m so grateful that we have a baby on the way in just 20 more weeks. That being said, I now feel both a responsibility and desire to do everything I can to fight the above sentiment. As we rightly celebrate the sacrifice, love, and care of the mothers and mother figures in our lives this Sunday, I also acknowledge those for whom this day brings a complicated mix of emotions: those who long to be moms, those who aren’t sure, those who have broken relationships with their mothers, those who have have lost a child. The role of a mother is beautiful and so much more complex than what I could say in a short blog post, but I want to remind both myself and all women that our place in this journey doesn’t ultimately define us or make us any more or any less.

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bloom assembly vancouver
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bloom assembly vancouver
bloom assembly vancouver
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PS. If you’re in Vancouver looking for something to gift to that mother, mother figure, loved one, or inspirational friend in your life – might I suggest a bouquet of flowers from locally-based Bloom Assembly? These very  talented women created the beautiful arrangement I’m carrying, and they’ll be hosting a pop-up shop at West Elm Granville this Sunday from 12-4pm. Today’s also the last day to pre-order an arrangement for pick up that day (and you can get 10% off with my code ‘herwaisechoice’)!

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Jacket | Club Monaco
Dress | Everlane
Shoes | Rachel Comey

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Comments

  1. PtEa says

    May 12, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    Beautifully said.
    As a mom who lost herself for the first six years of motherhood I offer you one piece of advice: it is unequivocally necessary to be selfish sometimes.

    Reply

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My name is Jen, and I'm a Vancouver-based life and style content creator. This is simple space for documenting my making the most of my closet and I hope it may inspire you to do the same.

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